My sanctuary, my DH

I had a book club meeting last night and one of my friends and I stayed late and talked. She and her hubby were having some marital trouble last year...mainly that he expressed a new and sudden desire to have children. Apparently (and this is strange to me), the topic had never come up before but my friend thought she'd eventually feel those maternal longings (which she isn't). Well they worked through it (or her husband dropped it) but with another birthday approaching, she's wondering if they should just go for it. I told her about the childfree living book I'd just finished (Sweet Grapes) and how society is structured to support pronatalism. But that choosing to live childfree is a choice and shouldn't be seen as being selfish...you can still be involved with kids, make a difference in the world through volunteering, etc. And as I listened to myself preach the pros of this choice, I wondered who I was trying to convince, her or me...

Then she told me about an older woman she works with who has no children but a really full life and a solid marriage. She said that this couple reminded her of my DH and I...that she sees the devotion we feel for one another and that she thought we'd be ENOUGH for each other...some couples wouldn't be okay without having kids, but that she thought we were strong enough. If her eyes weren't welling with tears (I'm beginning to think things still aren't quite right in her relationship), I could have really delighted in that moment. I am very proud of my marriage. So many couples experiencing IF earn their battle wounds together and that can bond you or tear you apart. In just three short years, DH and I have gone through more hardship than I'd wish on anyone and we've learned how to really talk to each other, be there for each other, and just love on each other. Which is good because sometimes it feels like us against the world...

Here's to my DH...
...Who conquered his fear of needles and administered shot after shot into my soft skin.
...Who wrestled with his "manliness" being questioned but ultimately became a stronger man for it.
...Who goes to counseling with me and speaks for me when the tears catch my voice.
...Who offered to convey what I needed from my friends when I was too chicken/upset to do it myself.
...Who settles down to read (insert book title you never thought you'd own) "Having Your Baby by Egg Donation" in bed.
...Who got me a Mother's Day gift, cuz I'm Mom to a furbaby.
...Who knew not to suggest "Knocked Up" as a weekend movie.

Happy Anniversary, baby. :)