6 random things

Well I've NEVER been asked to do any of these things so I feel like this is another part of initiation into blogging. How exciting! :) Thanks Waiting Amy!
So here are some random things about me...but first, the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.

2) Post the rules.

3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.

4) Tag at least three people.

5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

Here goes...

1) We've had a lot of snow this year and I realized I really love animal tracks in the snow. It could be my dog's little paw prints, a birds, or some random animal that stumps me...I had a book on tracks when I was a kid and that must be when the fascination started. :)
2) I'm really good at remembering numbers...phone numbers, totals at stores, etc. Also, I have this weird habit of adding up/multiplying/dividing the individual numbers. Like 236, cuz 2x3=6. You'd think I'd have been more interested in math due to this...
3) I love doing crafty things (sewing, scrapbooking, making cards, knitting, etc.) but I can't wait to get to the finished product that I often rush through things, sometimes to their detriment. I've not had uneven sleeve lengths or anything like that but I could do a better job if I wasn't so impatient!
4) I've weighed the exact same weight - to the pound - since high school (well pre-pregnancy). And I've never dieted (I think I make good food choices except when it comes to sweets!) or worked out regularly. I say this not to "brag," but cuz I really think it's kind of amazing in a science/physiology way. I just hope my body remembers my usual weight after the babies!
5) When I first saw my DH - hadn't even spoken to him - I knew he was going to be someone special. On our first date, I introduced him to my parents (well I lived at home but I could have easily not put him through that!). It was a long, bumpy road to get to our commitment stage but it was worth it. I'm having to work pretty hard for the good things in my life...all worth it.
6) I am dangerously attached to our dog. We decided we'd get a dog if our first cycle wasn't successful...and we joked about how it better be the world's cutest dog to help us get over our loss. Well she is. I've never had a pet before (my mom is allergic to everything!) so it was uncharted territory for me and she is just a joy. Everyone comments how we're gonna push her aside when the babies come, like we won't have time for her. The way I figure is we made a commitment to her when she joined our family and yeah, it'll be harder and different but she's still gonna be our first baby. Our lemonade (you know, life gives you lemons...). Here she is, really enjoying the snow-LOL!

So that's 6 random things about me. :) That was fun!
Let's see what SingleTracey, Rebecca, and Denise have to say...

Twin article

Interesting twin article...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/11/nyregion/11bigcity.html

It includes a mention to CCRM and how they encourage just one embryo transferred--not subscribing to the "two for the price of one" philosophy, even though DH said that very thing right as our doc was doing the transfer. Dork. ;)

Little baby heartbeats...

All is well. What a wonderful thing to say. :)

There was some initial frustration because the receptionist had rescheduled only the doctor's visit, not the sonogram. Not the part that we've been dying to do, not the part that DH made sure he'd be available for (instead he got to witness the pelvic exam and pap smear - woo hoo!). So could I come back in an hour and a half? The sonographer just left…grrrr. DH had an afternoon meeting and I couldn't believe he was going to miss out on seeing them and potentially HEARING them for the first time. Unbeknowst to us, my OB was planning on finding the heartbeats so we were able to satisy ourselves that they are at least still in there! What a sound! It almost brought tears to my eyes and it just sounded so "cute"…little baby heartbeats. So not seeing them didn't seem like such a big deal after that. But they were able to squeeze me in as soon as the sonographer got back. And I'm so glad they did! They've grown soo much and look the most like babies than they ever have. I asked the sonographer if you ever see them move when she's doing these…she asked me to cough and lo and behold - they moved! Little baby arms and little baby legs stretching out (better stretch out now while you can, babies!). Next time, we can bring a DVD -R and they can capture the whole thing for posterity's sake. As a kid, wouldn't that be an amazing thing to see?! Yourself (and your bro or sis), while you were still in your mom? Wild! I'm just in awe of all of this.

I also got answers to my O- blood type and whether one twin could be + blood and the other - (yes, I know I think about/worry about everything!). And I was given a 3 day long vaginal suppository to return my woman parts to a good place. Apparently all those progesterone suppositories can irritate your cervix.

I was disappointed DH couldn't be there for the babies' big moves, but all that matters is that we got another good report! It gets more and more real each time I see 'em. Like we're really gonna have twins!!!! WOW!!!!

Random thoughts...

DH and I were so excited to see the babies yesterday at our appointment…so much so that we'd moved it up a week, not really wanting to wait a month in between appointments. Only to get a phone call yesterday morning that our doc wasn't able to make it in and they were rescheduling her appointments - BOOO! Luckily, it's only a couple more days (Monday). But I tell ya, the days are just dragging by cuz I'm focusing so much on getting to the next week…and Saturday is 12w! What a milestone that is! :)

I realized the other day that I'm totally pulling a J. Lo. In that I haven't shared my good news with but a handful of people at work…and it's probably getting obvious that something is going on under my clothes! But speaking of J to the L.O., I am really annoyed with her. This whole "twins are genetic" thing really irritates me. She's like 38 - I think most of us can gather she had a little help. And just own up to it. People's perceptions of infertility are not going to change when we have public figures (who could create change around the issue) hush-hushing it. I'll get off my soap box now, sorry.

Other than that, not a lot to report. I really want to decorate/furnish the nursery in a "green" way but I'm finding that rather difficult to do. I want non-toxic finishes on cribs, organic mattresses, good no-VOC paint (would love to pull up the carpet but it's like brand new and DH isn't down with that) and all of these things are apparently elusive or really expensive. And when you're buying two… But isn't it just wrong that things made in a more natural way are more expensive? What is wrong with that picture?

I spoke with my sister last night and was really afraid I'd upset her with baby talk. I think I mentioned before that she got pregnant in November 2006, the same time our 1st cycle was canceled. Unfortunately, she miscarried shortly thereafter. Now that I'm pregnant, she's preparing to have a uterine fibroid removed, which is apparently a major surgery and will obviously delay their baby making. I'm trying to be sensitive and really share info just when she asks. But last night I made a comment on how I was getting bigger and she got all quiet on the other end. I quickly changed the subject to other news from my week but it just made me so sad. Why is life so complicated?

Sheesh, this post became kind of a downer. Ooh, so I'll end on a good note: my company has "expectant mother" parking spots in the parking garages and ever since I've been married, I've DREAMED of the day I could park there. Well last Friday I went down to Security to get my pass (the gal didn't even want to see my "I'm pregnant" doctor's note, dang it!) and I got to park in one of the illustrious spots on Monday! It was so EXCITING! It's the little things, right? ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I can talk the talk but not walk the walk. I just got a phone call from my acupuncturist who's going to be featured on the local news due to a new study showing acupuncture is beneficial to IVF patients. She wanted to know if I'd be willing to talk to a local reporter on camera about my experiences. Many thoughts ran through my head…one: everyone who saw the report would know I had difficulty conceiving (even more awkward considering hardly anyone at work knows I'm pregnant!); two: I have one large pimple on my chin and it seems like local news always do extreme close ups where you can't even see the entire person's face; three: I'm shy and would likely blubber my way through the interview. But dang…the universe was giving me a chance to be a voice for IF and I can't do it.

1st trimester thoughts...

I'm really bad at keeping up with this blog lately. Plus it's awkward to know what to write about. I don't want to isolate readers with "baby baby" talk…but that's amazingly enough my world now. I didn't know if I'd ever get here and now that I am, I find it hard to fully embrace it for fear of…what, I'm not sure. I feel confident in my babies (even though I'm on sonogram withdrawal - and I just moved up my next appt by a week!) and my body and I'm slowly sharing the good news with more and more people…I just wish I could accept pregnancy with the same gusto I always figured I'd give it.

I'm almost through my first trimester, which means I may have avoided morning sickness. I've had general nauseau (and now I'm experiencing an inordinate amount of saliva, which does not help with the nauseau, let me tell ya!) but have not actually thrown up, thank goodness. I'm slowly getting over some of my weird food issues and actually cooked twice this week. Last week, we ate out every night and while I was healthy with my choices, I felt guilty about it. So I actually bought ingredients for meals (what a concept, right?) and that's really the trick. For such a Type A/planning personality, you'd think I'd be better about meals…but I just don't care enough about food to plan in advance. So eating enough has been a challenge at times. Kinda like this cartoon…

I've been reading a couple books that have provided insight to being a twin parent. Twinspiration is written by a twin mom and she is honest about everything! DH has been reading it too and it's nice how he's more aware of how I might be feeling, etc. He's even using the terms, like "mommy brain." Okay, so it's not nice to insult your pregnant wife's memory problems but at least he's attributing it to pregnancy and not me just losing my mind! Twins, Triplets, and Quads seems a little more suspect…have any other twin moms-to-be seen this one? It's soo dire…I'll definitely be on bed rest, I should absolutely quit working by X week, if I don't eat mini-meals every two hours my babies will be underweight/premature, drink a quart of milk per day, etc. So if anyone has any recommendations on twin pregnancy books, I'd love to hear 'em!

One of my cycle sisters, Tracey, was faced with the fragility of life last week and suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks. Her posts have been so moving and really show how strong she is. But I'm sure she'd love any extra support.

And another is enduring the 2ww…sending lots of luck your way, Denise!

Dos babies

Could you imagine being pregnant and not being able to take a peek inside the womb? My mom found the book/journal she completed when pregnant with me and it was so odd to think they couldn't confirm a pregnancy with an HPT or an ultrasound. I think I could become addicted to ultrasounds…I'm starting to understand why crazy Tom Cruise bought one for home use when Katie Holmes was pregnant! Just kidding…kinda. ;)
We got a look at the twins yesterday and all is well! Twin B is catching up to Twin A and their heartrates were in line with what they should be at 9 weeks (which is apparently the time when they'll be the fastest…should slow down after 9 weeks). The U/S tech was able to identify their heads from their rumps and we got individual pics of both. Too cute! I think of them sharing this space and the bond they're forming and it gives me chills, it's so beautiful. DH and I rented In The Womb: Multiples and I highly recommend it to all you expecting twins. The most interesting tidbit to me was how twins have so much more stimulation in the womb than singletons (duh, I know). Manipulating the tight spaces can also help them with coordination later on in life (DH saw that as hope for two athletes who can go to college on scholarship! Since we spent our savings on them already!). Also, they have witnessed multiples in the womb who play games with one another! And these games can continue outside the womb! For example, there were twins who loved to cuddle their faces up to one another while in the womb. Then as toddlers, one of their favorites games was to stand on either side of a curtain and put their faces close to each other and giggle. That's just amazing to me…
Our OB gave us the all clear to let people know we're expecting! We had a few questions for her and that was DH's no. 1 question - I think he's been ready to burst! Also, his work has had a twin explosion lately, with like 5 of his co-workers either expecting them or just having had them…so I think he's ready to share his news too! Early on, I was dying to tell people we were pregnant…but now I don't feel the same sense of urgency. I don't know why…I feel confident in our babies so I don't think that's the reason. Maybe I'm just enjoying my little secret. Course it would behoove me to share the news and erase the mystery as to why I'm eating all day at my cube and answer questions around my slightly shifting figure. ;) I think part of it is wanting to put time between when I was out for two weeks for an undisclosed medical condition and the announcement. Not that I'm ashamed of what we did to make our babies - quite the contrary! I guess I just don't know how to answer the questions that will come from the busy bodys…"oh twins? Did you use fertility drugs?" One of my friends had triplets almost two years ago and is still asked that question…he said you start out polite and then get fed up. But why do I have to be polite if those who hear the news can't be?! For the triplets, I'd hate for their conception to be a defining trait for the rest of their lives. It's kind of irrelevant, isn't it? I know, I know, I preach people needing to be open about IF or society will never change and then I fall into the same trap. It's a quandary…
So for now, I'll continue to keep my little babies safe and protected from the comments that will annoy their mother and cause her heartrate to go up!

What a difference a year makes

I've been absent in the blog world mainly because I'm so tired when I get home from work and the last thing I want to do is get back in front of a computer...this being pregnant with twins thing can take it out of you! Yes, both babies are hanging in there! We got a good report at the doctor on Monday...Twin B's HR was up to 125 and Twin A's was at 154. Such well behaved kiddos. :) So even though Twin B is still lagging behind a few days, it is developing the way it should and that's the most important thing. When I shared this good report with my favorite nurse, Amber (that's for all of you dying to know who my fave is!), and asked her a couple questions like OB vs. perinatologist, she actually said "now that things are looking good" I could continue with my OB! She errs on the side of caution so for her to say it's "looking good" helps DH and I breathe a little easier.

Even though after the transfer, I really felt like both embryos were sticking around, it's still a shock to think we're going to have twins. It's just miraculous. We've come such a long way in just a year and a half...my cyst removal, DH's obstructive azoospermia, failed IVF and talk of donor eggs, being rejected by two other major fertility clinics in town...and I know we are where we are today because we didn't give up. What if we'd listened to the first RE? Or even the second? I guess you just never know. I have a friend whose mom died from cancer years ago and she was saying how the doctors just don't know everything...they'd give her mom a month and she'd live for another year...when we were going through this second cycle and continuously getting encouraging reports, I thought of that. DH and I scoffed when Amber reviewed cryopreservation...and yet we have two embryos on ice. You just never know.

I keep hoping and praying that these babies continue to impress everybody. I'm trying to do all I can for them (even gagging on my broccoli at dinner) and I know they're doing all they can, too.